Entries

I worked my first service today and it actually went well! I know I shouldn’t be surprised. My last job basically forced me to become capable very quickly. I can’t deny though that when I woke up this morning I had no idea what to expect

My supervisor paired me with an older gentleman who shares my same role. To be honest, when I saw he was significantly older I found myself worrying quite a bit. What if he thought I was just some young fool in over their head? He ended up being really sweet though (Thanks god)! The family we served today was also very kind, just maybe a little particular. Overall though, their patience with me during my first service was appreciated.

It was a simple chapel service and then we moved out to our lawn for a witness lowering. My only real complaint of the day was regarding the heat. Being out on that lawn in the hot sun wearing a blazer was NOT fun. Today wasn’t even that hot so I know I have some brutal heat coming for me some time in the future. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it though.

The job itself isn't so bad though. Today’s service was supposed to be a pretty crazy one, and if this is as bad as it gets I don’t think I have very much to worry about. It’s a lot of managing small details but it seems pretty intuitive once you get the hang of it. Tissue boxes go here and you put flowers here that sort of thing. I’d say I’m pretty comfortable with the set up and clean up for services. The thing that worries me the most at this point is that I know I’m going to have to learn how to drive the van. Also breaking down and setting up multiple flower arrangements then transporting them feels pretty daunting. The team they have at my funeral home seems pretty solid though. My colleague assured me that we all take care of each other as best as we can, so that did bring me a little bit of comfort. It also seems like one of those things that you improve at as you go along, so I’m keeping that in mind as well.

Tomorrow I have the next service I’m working, and my colleague won’t be there. I’m not exactly sure who will be there, but I’m crossing my fingers that it’ll go just as well as today did. That’s all for now! Besitos <3

Today was the last day of my old job. Arisztid Olt is no longer an office prep! (No hate to office preps)

Tomorrow marks the beginning of my journey into the death care industry. The whole thing feels sort of surreal. In a way this job felt sort of inevitable, like no matter how much I thought about it, it wasn't really going to end. Now here we are and I’m never seeing that office again.

A part of me is relieved like CRAZY relieved, but another part of me so desperately wants to cling to my old routine. It’s hard to let eras die, even the ones you don’t like so much. It’d be much easier to try squashing the feelings down, but grief is meant to be felt. Given the industry I’m going to, it'd be ridiculous not allowing myself to feel. I just have to remind myself to not get stuck in it and spoil something good.

A new era begins tomorrow. As excited as I am, I feel incredibly nervous. It’s like I can’t even get myself to prepare for tomorrow. I'm just so nervous. After I post this entry I’ll push myself to get moving, but for this brief moment I’m sitting at my desk absolutely losing my shit that this whole new adventure is starting!

Today I got a call back regarding my funeral assistant interview, and I got the job!!! All that's left to do is fill out the paper work and to give my current job my two weeks. It's super exciting, but I'll admit it does feel a little scary. This would be a major career pivot. HOWEVER, I can feel it in my bones that this is the path I'm meant to be on. The signs all pointed this way. Even if some people in my life may think it morbid and weird, I know my reasons for pursuing this. That's all for now. Talk soon! <3

It's been weird times these past couple of months. The older I get it seems like the less I know. I suppose the happens to everyone though. Finding balance between work and my outside life has been tough. I can't seem to find my footing in this 9 - 5 lifestyle. Who knows if I ever will. There's been lots of changes from job offers to a loss of friends. Despite how slow time has felt, I look back and I am amazed at how much has happened in such a brief period. All I can really hope is that it's for the better.
I think it is.
Last month I officially started taking my spiritual practice a bit more seriously. After some guidance I got at my local metaphysical shop, I began working with Hekate (more about that another time). When they said she's the Queen of the Crossroads they weren't kidding! It feels like my life is being purged as of late. I have faith in her though, so I tell myself it's all for the better. I just try to embrace her guidance when I see it (I don't always see it so she has to nudge me). The most exciitng thing though is that I have this job interview coming up this week. It would be for a funeral service assistant. Despite the fact that this would be a massive shift from my current career path somehow I know it's right for me. Even down to the marrow of my bones I can feel it's right. I'm really hoping this interview goes well. Please wish me luck and send me all your good vibes! Hopefully I'lle be back once again tinkering away at my little website. Talk soon! <3

Hello! This is a call to action if you happen to have the means to offer support.

I wanted to share the story of Abood and his family from Gaza.
Prior to October 7, Abood was a student attending university, but everything changed after the 7th. The IOF bombed his family home, killed his best friend, and murdered his dog (Jack). Since then, his family of 8 has moved many times and is now living in a make-shift tent on top of a roof. They are struggling to obtain basic necessities and food. His younger siblings often go hungry at night. He has dedicated himself to showing the world the horror of the genocide through social media.

You can read more about Abood and his family in the description of his fund here:
https://chuffed.org/project/127493-a-family-of-8-lost-in-fear-your-kindness-can-save-us
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Sara9040?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

If you are able, please consider contributing to the fundraiser. Please also consider sharing and spreading their story.

Thank you!!!

Having a blog is so cool because I can just straight up say "hey," and then dip. Many things to come (hopefully)! I've been a lot more active lately, and I hope to keep it that way. Consider the West Wing tab a work in progress. While I do have the general layout that I want, it's just a little bland. I'll also be working on getting my notes page up! I'm currently about to start reading Basic Principles of Marxism Leninism, so I'll definitely need to keep my notes somewhere. I'll be taking the text day-by-day becasue U've tried to do things like this in one go and it just doesn't work. This time I think I've learned my lesson and will be pacing myself. That's all for now! Be back soon <3

Dark Greetings!
Insert here obligatory 'I'm new to coding' post, so please forgive any weird things you might see going on with my layout. I'm teaching myself through practice and the occasional article every now and then. This site is truly a work in progress. My main priority is to carve out a space for myself to exist more authetically. Since the inception of my existence online, it has felt like nothing more than a performance of exceptionalism. As someone whose life has been dedicated to the pursuit of exceptionalism, I fear I no longer want to/ can maintain this facade any longer. I hope for this space to be one where I can truly be vulnerable about things that I would be hesitant to share with my more traditional social medias. I have always been a big fan of the anonymous profile. Granted this site will not be quite as anonymous becasue i have attached my face to it, but I do take cpmofrt in the fact that none of those viewing my profile are people that know me in my day-to-day life. Websites also tend to require more longform content. My writing quality has definitely declined quite a bit since I've graduated. It is a goal of mine to redevelop this muscle that has largeely been unused since the time I have graduated. Expect more journal entries, and when I eventually code the pagee, a section of this site dedicated to essays that have my thoughts on topics of interest. Grammar has never really been a stong suit of mine and I know for a fact I am atrocious typing skills, so please try to ignore any mistakes you may come across in my writing. Additionally, it is a hope of mine that I am able to enagage with other members of the Neocities community. My most used social medias are located on the main page of the website, so feel free to reach me there. All I ask is you mention that you're reaching out from Neocities. To those who do not partake in the usage of social media, I will at some point include my email somewhere. At this moment the site is going to look very bare bones, but I will be working on it as I progress. My tendency towards perfectionism has me picking coding up and then dropping it when things do not look exactly as I want them to. It's a habit that I'm trying to break. If I ever upload a page that looks relatively unfinished, it is because I know it will never be uploaded otherwise. All I ask is that you all bear with me. Thank you for reading. I look forward to sharing more :]